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Body language is a powerful tool that can affect the way we think and influence the decisions we make. When used skillfully, it is possible to influence others and make them think and react the way you want them to behave, by first strategically projecting your own body movements, facial expressions, and intentional gestures.
Projecting powerful signals and avoiding a few simple pitfalls will serve you best in two simple ways:
1. You will look and feel more confident when you use positive body language. When you move and carry yourself with confidence and seem to “project” positive vibes, you immediately feel more balanced and in control.
2. Body language communication is contagious. We tend to imitate each other in conversation. Have you noticed how we seem to match the rate of speech, body movements, gestures, and facial expressions of the other person?
Isn’t it amazing that we do this every day when we communicate? Yet we do it, without even realizing it.
If you use positive body language, the other person is more likely to use positive body language (mirror you), which in turn will make the other person feel certain emotions (happier or more confident in their decisions, etc.)
Caution: The reverse is also true, so don’t display body language movements, facial expressions, or gestures that are negative in tone or thought, if you don’t intend to do so.
We know that using positive body language improves everyone’s mood. See how a comedian can use gestures, facial expressions, and body movements to make an audience laugh. Very often, the verbal message is funny, but the body language simply amplifies the humor and reaction of the audience.
Here are some ways to communicate positively more effectively without the use of words:
1. Pay attention to your own positive signals that you project.
has. Make direct eye contact whenever possible. Around 70% is acceptable in North America and the UK. In Japan, for example, the acceptable “gasification rate” is closer to 50% and in most Scandinavian countries, acceptable “gasification rates” can be as high as 90%. Realize that cultural differences are one of the three keys in interpreting body language.
b. Smile or relax your lips. Avoid pursing your lips or repeatedly touching your face. No one trusts someone who repeatedly touches their face while talking.
against Stand with an open posture. Keep your arms and legs loose and relaxed and try to stand to the side, either at a slight angle to the other person or right eye to right eye if you are directly facing the other person. Looking into the other person’s left eye is more comfortable when speaking or listening.
d. Keep your palms facing up and your hands relaxed as you speak. It is important that the open palm is revealed more often when gesturing when speaking. This appeals to the unconscious mind that you are not threatening.
me. Avoid nervous or fidgety gestures, such as tapping your nails or jingling your change. This indicates that a high level of “internal dialogue” or “internal chatter” is taking place. It can project that you are anxious, restless and nervous or that you just want to move on.
2. Pay close attention to the other person’s body language as you carry on the dialogue. Watch out for signs of negative body language or clues that the customer is bored. This could be the other person starting to look over her shoulder, fiddling with a jacket zipper, jingling keys, preening with sundries like scarves, gloves, and hats. These are displays of emotion and attitude.
3. Subtly begin to mimic the other person’s body language. If the customer leans forward, you should lean forward showing interest. If your arms are crossed, cross yours too, but show your fingers and make sure they are spread apart. Once you’re in harmony, start leading. Test to see if you can lead. For example, if you’re having dinner with someone, take their glass of water. If they also reach theirs and follow your example, you are now in harmony!
4. When you want to inject a more positive tone into the conversation, slowly change your body language to appear more positive. Uncross your arms and legs, tilt your head slightly when listening, and straighten your head when speaking. No one is taken seriously when they speak with their heads bowed in business. (Note: when dating or flirting, the head tilt works wonders and is extremely powerful.)
5. It is important to note the following. Try not to change your body language (excessive body movements, touching your face, twitching knees, figure four) when you start talking because this will usually indicate that you are trying to take control of the conversation. If possible, you are more attractive if you can first change or during a pause, have a relaxed posture, and then start talking.
In short, pay attention and strategically control your body language and observe the reactions you receive from others. With practice, you will begin to realize how effective it is to strategically use your own body to infect the other person and get the desired result.
You’ll be amazed at how simple it is to get what you want, when you want it, without saying a word!
