It was April 24, 2015, my 26th birthday! I’m a GREAT TIMES celebrator, so in our house we celebrate everything from half birthdays to half anniversaries, to ordinary, random days that I think are worth celebrating! However, my 26th birthday was very special this year, because I had a sweet peanut growing in my belly, and I was about to see that little miracle for the first time at my 8-week OB appointment.

I arrived at the Women’s Health Clinic over an hour early because waiting at home was too painful as I was seeing my watch tick every second. The lobby was packed with pregnant women from all stages. Some looked so overjoyed, they just couldn’t stop smiling and rubbing their tummies to feel that poignant miracle grow inside of them, and some looked miserable for being late, ready to explode. I chose a chair and sat down with my 14-month-old son, still not losing hope that maybe my doctor would be able to see me a few minutes earlier. Ava and I played patty, watched a few episodes of Barney, and ate lots of snacks. I remember looking at her and thinking that you are about to be a big sister. You two will be best friends. My heart was so full.

“Mrs. Bishop” the nurse finally called. Ava and I quickly jumped out of our chair and headed back. When we entered the room, the nurse had me step on the scale, then she checked my vital signs and asked me some standard questions about how I was feeling. “I feel good! It’s my birthday and I can see my baby for the first time! I have a bad morning or an illness that lasts all day, but this is nothing new for me during pregnancy.”

I sat on the exam table and relaxed as I watched the nurse preparing and sterilizing the equipment my doctor would use for the ultrasound. I started to wonder what if it’s two babies? How will I react? I have to stay calm. I can handle two. It’s probably just one. It’s definitely just one.

“Hello Mrs. Bishop!” said my doctor as he opened the door: “It is a pleasure to meet you. Today we will see your baby’s heartbeat for the first time.” My baby’s heartbeat. What a beautiful sight. “Just sit back and relax and let’s take a look.” He placed the probe and we both looked at the screen. He started fidgeting with the probe all over the place, and my heart sank before he even said a word.

“Ms. Bishop, I am very sorry to tell you this, but there is no heartbeat. You have had a miscarriage and what we are looking at here is just the tissue that was left.”

My heart stopped and my head began to spin, then I began to sob, like any mother would. I cried so much that the nurse had to put Ava back in her pram. How did this happen? What did I do wrong? This was my fault. My precious baby was gone.

“PLEASE CHECK AGAIN! PLEASE LOOK ONE MORE TIME! PLEASE JUST LOOK!” I screamed, begging for a different result.

“Mrs. Bishop, your baby is gone. Get dressed and follow the nurse to my office so we can schedule your D&C.” Dilation and curettage (D&C) is a surgical procedure in which the cervix is ​​dilated and a special instrument is used to scrape the lining of the uterus. The main goal of treatment during or after a miscarriage is to prevent bleeding and / or infection of the left tissue.

I stumbled into his office and honestly, I don’t even remember how I got out of the exam room. The doctor dialed my husband’s number and gave me his office phone. “Trey, I had a miscarriage and I need you here now. Right now.”

“Okay, it looks like we have an opening for your operation on Monday April 27th. I’ll schedule it for 8 am, but I’m sure you will be here 45 minutes early for the paperwork.”

The only words that came out of my mouth in his office were: “Is there any way that my baby is still alive? Is it possible? Has it happened before?”

“No, Mrs. Bishop. It has never happened before. I’m 99.9% sure your baby is gone.”

My husband helped me to my car, and I followed him home with the most painful and heartbreaking emptiness inside of me. She had no idea of ​​the distress she would feel from a miscarriage so early in the pregnancy.

When I walked into the driveway, I called my mom and just sobbed, I let it all out. If you know my mom, you know what an amazing woman she is, so she immediately got in her car and picked up my sweet Rickey B (my stepdad) and they drove to our house in Killeen from Houston (a 3 hour drive). For the rest of the day, this little voice inside me kept asking: Why am I not showing any signs of miscarriage? Why do I still feel bad?

My husband, who had missed the actual ultrasound due to meetings at work, wanted closure by seeing for himself that the baby was missing, so he made sure we got a second opinion before doing any procedures. I don’t remember exactly how it happened, but radiology always reserves at least 3 months in the hospital they assigned us to, and I know ultrasounds are rarely scheduled on Saturdays for outpatients, only those in the ER experiencing potentially emergencies. fatal, but it turned out there was a technician who worked from Friday night to Saturday morning with an appointment cancellation at 5:45 a.m.

We checked into radiology at 5:15 a.m. M. And they took us back to the room. The ultrasound technician was very grumpy, probably because it was so early and he was working all night. He told me to stay still so he could confirm the miscarriage. How dare you be so confident about my miscarriage before I’ve even had the ultrasound done? He grabbed the tube and placed it on my stomach. “Holy cow! Go drink a lot of water, wait 10 minutes and come back,” he yelled. “I can’t tell you anything but go drink water and come back.”

Listen. I drank so much water that I almost threw up. Once the 10 minutes were up, I went back to the room and lifted my shirt so I could get the ultrasound done.

“Congratulations, Mom! 160 beats per minute!”

My baby was ALIVE. Praise the Lord! My baby was ALIVE! I watched the little heart beat and beat and beat of this miracle and I sobbed tears of joy with each beat. The technician took all the measurements my doctor was supposed to take at the appointment the day before, and the baby measured perfectly. Everything was normal and on track for my 8 week embryo.

Now I have a happy, healthy 13-month-old who is the sweetest child in the whole world. It is well on its way, from a development point of view. How did this happen?

I think my baby was always alive. To this day, I don’t know why we didn’t see a heartbeat on that first date. Maybe my doctor made a mistake and it was a misdiagnosed miscarriage. Or maybe your little heart didn’t beat until after that appointment, just a late development in the heartbeat department. But I tell this story to explain that no doctor on the planet is right 100% of the time, or 99.9% for that matter, so when your mom’s intuition tells you otherwise, you should listen to her. It’s sad to think of how many women the same thing could have happened to them.

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