The brides who get the most attention are the ones who are yelling “It’s MY day!” or trying to outdo the royal wedding (this means you, Kim Kardashian!). But for every woman who’s dying to be the center of attention, there are probably so many girlfriends who are embarrassed at the thought of having all eyes on them. Here are some practical wedding planning tips for shy brides to make your day more enjoyable.

First of all, it is important to be honest with yourself. If you know you hate being the center of attention or feel nauseous at the thought of walking down a long hall with everyone watching you, plan your wedding accordingly. The best wedding planning tip for shy brides is to keep your wedding as small as possible. When you only have immediate family members and dearest friends at your ceremony, hopefully you will feel supported, rather than overwhelmed.

In no way should you feel compelled to stick to wedding customs that will increase your anxiety. It all starts with the wedding ceremony. Consider keeping it somewhere that doesn’t require you to walk down a long hallway. Choose a small chapel with a short aisle or a site that allows you to make a side entrance. A very shy bride he knew chose to have her ceremony in her parents’ living room in front of the fireplace. She entered the ceremony by going down some stairs that led to the living room, and from there it was only a few steps until her boyfriend was waiting for her by the fireplace. If you are having your ceremony in a location that will require you to walk down a hall, consider asking your mother and father to walk with you, so that you will be flanked by them on both sides. It can help you feel more protected and less like the center of attention.

It is very important that a shy bride choose a wedding attraction that makes her feel very comfortable. If you never wear sexy styles, avoid revealing wedding dresses with plunging necklines that will cause you discomfort. The fact is, a dramatic wedding dress will draw all eyes to you, so if you prefer to blend in (certainly difficult for the bride), go for a more understated wedding dress style. A classic A-line or 1950s-inspired dress will likely be more your cup of tea than a va-va-voom mermaid dress with a fitted top and a cascade of ruffles at the bottom. Many brides are particularly comfortable in wedding dresses with pockets, as it gives them something to do with their hands.

For women who are painfully shy, the first dance at the wedding reception can be a tremendous source of stress. The center of attention will literally be on you, and all your guests will be staring at you. If this sounds like your worst nightmare, there are several options that can help. One is to simply skip the spotlight dances. If you are having a very small wedding, you can choose not to dance at all. Just provide some great background music for dinner and cocktails, and leave it at that. It will seem less obvious if you host your reception in a location without a dance floor, such as a restaurant or private dining room in a posh club. If you can’t get out of the first dance completely, have the band leader invite other couples onto the dance floor about a minute later. You can plan this ahead with your parents and the bridal party so they know how to go out and start dancing as soon as they are invited.

Always remember that it is your wedding, and you should be able to have the style of event that will make you feel most at ease (even if your mother is pushing for a big party!). When carefully planned, even the shyest bride can have a wedding that she will enjoy. The wonderful memories of your perfect wedding will last a lifetime.

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