stop taking it personally
Every week I give a piece of advice (a leadership council). This week, it’s a QTIP… an acronym for ‘Stop Taking It Personal’.
Businesses aren’t built on emotion, but the people who serve them are. The business is established to solve problems, provide services and make a profit. Employers and employees must develop a tough-skin approach to deflect some of the feelings associated with conflict, rejection, reprimands, and ‘corrections’ that are made while maintaining quality and profits.
in the room The seven habits of highly effective people, Covey offers the “Go For Win/Win” ratio. The idea is not to be nice, or give in, or the opposite. It is a principle for building character towards human interaction and collaboration.
In relationships of all kinds, win/win ensures mutual benefit. Everyone involved must be earning or growing, or there is no basis for a long-term relationship. In business, sales, negotiations, transactions, agreements, terms and conditions, there must be a basis of profit for all parties. The only alternative to win/win is not to deal! Win/lose does not stand the test of time, nor lose/win, therefore not all arrangements are suitable for maintaining a business relationship, and for that reason, we cannot take things personally. Again, this is easier said than done.
My parents used to say, “Friends are friends and business is business and you shouldn’t do business with friends,” because it’s easier to give and receive honest feedback when “personal relationships” aren’t at stake.
Next week you will hear that my web developer of 20 years fired me. My assistant was mortified by her email (he copied it into his tirade with me). He called me after reading the email to comfort me. My response was, “It’s just business Monica, I don’t take it personally,” and that was the end of it.
It took me many years and a lot of Q-tips to choose lofty thoughts about the emotions that come from business. In fact, I keep one in the pencil tray in my desk drawer. In addition to having very clean ears, I am constantly reminded not to take business personally.
