What’s your Wisha Coulda Woulda?
live a balanced life
When I started my company, I made a commitment to set aside one day a week for “my time.” Now, it took me about three years to seize this day; however, I think I’m finally there! On one of these occasions I decided to get my hair done, usually a three hour process. The salon where I get my hair done is located across the street from a morgue and on that particular day I noticed a young man put a doll in a van and in about 40 minutes he was back with a business associate. They stopped at the back door, opened the truck door and took a body to the morgue. A sobering experience to watch; I began to wonder who was under the shroud and what his last thoughts were.
Was this person thinking about the last business decision where they could have closed the deal faster? Or was this person thinking about his career? Was this person thinking about how much money he had in the bank? Or was it his last thought on his family, how they wish they could have spent one more hour together at their favorite restaurant? Would it have been how they would have enjoyed reading their children (or grandchildren) one more bedtime story? What were this person’s last thoughts?
I recently met a man whose company interviews terminally ill patients in the last days of their lives; he shared that none of these patients once talked about work, money, or things. They spent the remaining time reminiscing about great family experiences or how they wish they could have spent one more day laughing with their family, dancing with their spouse, spending time at their favorite vacation spot. Wisha coulda woulda thoughts.
As Extraordinary Leaders, it’s all too easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the corporate (work) environment; however, in the whole scheme of life, how important is that job? Yes, it allows you to enjoy the life you have! Yes, it allows you to lead organizations to greatness! And yes, it allows you to go places you couldn’t go without that income; however, what have you given up that really matters? If you had seven days to live, how would you like to spend those days? If you had fourteen days to live, who would you like to spend that time with? If you had 365 days to live, how would you live an Extraordinary Life every day?
This is not an article about pessimism and doom: it is a simple reminder that you, the Extraordinary Leader, must live a life that allows you to spend time doing the things that really matter. Life Balance is more than “not working on weekends”; it’s identifying what matters most and making sure you spend time on it. For example, for the last 25 years I have consistently said that my priorities are God, family and then everything else, sounds good. And yet, during an exercise in self-reflection, I discovered that I am spending my quality time on everything else and not on God or my Family. Whoops! How easy it is to get caught up in the “everything else” of the world!
I hear it loud and clear: “If I don’t get the job done… it won’t get done!… I have a C-level position within my company: “I have to sacrifice my relationships to get things done”… My company needs me!” All this is true; however, at what cost? Two more stories and then we’ll take you home!
The first story surrounds Jim Cantalupo, the former chairman and CEO of McDonalds. In 2003, Mr. Cantalupo came out of retirement to lead the company to a higher level of success. Under Mr. Cantalupo’s leadership, McDonald’s posted its highest sales increase in 30 years. In 2004, at a restaurant convention, Mr. Cantalupo died. Within hours of Mr. Cantalupo’s death, Andrew McKenna was elected non-executive chairman of the company’s board of directors and Charlie Bell was elected chairman and chief executive officer.
The second story is more personal. In 1997, I received a call from the wife of one of my top managers, she told me that Yogi, a phenomenal leader within my group, had died that night. Yogi was in his forties. I cried, contacted my VP and team, helped the family in whatever I could do that day, and immediately called a contractor who had been working on a major global rollout and asked them to take responsibility for Yogi to complete the worked. The project was on a timeline and had to be completed. We were sad as an organization and at the same time we had to continue operations.
I’m sharing these two stories with you, the Extraordinary Leader, simply to remind you that as indispensable as you think you are to your organization, they’ll keep going, it’s a business. Now please don’t take this to mean that you should be neglecting your duties… ABSOLUTELY NOT! Your company trusts you to DO IT! However, they will do much better if you are alive to do it. Living a balanced life is one way to ensure a long, healthy and rich life.
So what does this mean to you? It means identifying what is really important to you in the whole scheme of life and making and keeping it a priority. Is it a better relationship with your Creator? Is it more quality time with your spouse? How about spending time with your children? When was the last time you went to a baseball game with your son? Or did you go on a date with your spouse? A real date… not one where you’re constantly on the phone or answering your blackberry!
If your family is at the top of your list, do you understand the love language of each family member? For example, one of my mom’s love languages is spending time together – she just wants to know you’re there! So sometimes it means going on long shopping trips: I’m not a shopper; however, it’s what’s important to her, so I do it! My dad’s love language is parenting (service), which means that when I need something I can’t do for myself, I have to let go of my pride and ask for his thoughts, help, and wisdom.
Whatever is important to you, in this case family, find out how they would value your time with them and just do it. It can actually become fun! Yes, I know you thought it would all be about you. Indirectly, by making others happier and more fulfilled, you will begin to receive what you need for a more balanced life!
Here are 15 tips for a balanced life:
- Determine what/who is important to you and decide how you are going to spend your time making that thing/person happy.
- Take fifteen minutes at the beginning of each day and decide how you are going to ensure a balanced life for that day. And then expect it to happen (intend to happen)!
- Before you walk out the door, give your spouse a ten-second kiss, every day! During the day, send your spouse an instant message telling them how excited you’ll be to see them that night.
- Each day before you walk out the door, give each of your children a hug, a compliment, and a blessing! If you’re like me, you’ll also need to say goodbye to your dogs (they love it too!)
- Take time, at least three to five times a week, to get some fresh air. Go for a walk with the whole family; go for a bike ride, go see a baseball game or a minor league track meet. Exercise your body!
- Spend time with your Creator every day!
- Once a week, play one of your favorite “loud” songs and sing along and dance along! For me it’s singing anything by Yolanda Adams. The other day, I was looking for AKC kennels that keep miniature schnauzers, when I clicked on a particular website, a song started playing with the words “who let the dogs out”… I had so much fun singing and dancing! ! I had to play it a couple of times! Be loud! Have fun! Dance! Sing out loud! For those who are a bit shy (or can’t sing or dance), you may want to do it in the privacy of your own home. Live an extraordinary life… today!
- Always BE in the moment you are with others! This is hard for us visionaries… but it can be done!
- Smile! You would be surprised how your smile will change your life and the lives of others who see you!
- When you go on vacation…really be on vacation. By the way, make sure you take a vacation every year! Even if it’s a trip to see your parents or a week in Jamaica…really go on vacation. See my favorite vacation spot at the end of the article.
- Get a massage at least once a month. For those working on a tighter budget…check out your local massage school!!!
- What’s the one thing you’ve always wanted to do? Make a plan to do it this year! What is your wisha, coulda, woulda statement?
- What is the one thing your family has always wanted to do? Make a plan to do it this year! What is your family’s wisha, coulda, woulda statement?
- Receive and give 12 hugs every day!
- Decide today that you WILL LIVE AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFE TODAY!
Send me an email and tell me what tips you have implemented and how it has changed your life!
In a few words: your career is very important, your role as an Extraordinary Leader within your organization is very important; however, never lose sight of what is really important in life. Every time you take away what’s really important, you take the chisel away from someone who needs you to become Extraordinarily Big!
