Whine Oh Whine Am I the only one?
I thought I was the only one in the world with a 5 year old crybaby. All the other 5-year-olds I know are either well behaved or total monsters! My oldest son is a cross between the two: most of the time he is well behaved and sometimes he is a total monster. And when he’s a monster, Mommy gets uglier (blushing in embarrassment).
I don’t want this to sound like a “Dear Thelma” article with me whining online and venting angrily at readers, about how unfair this world is and how horrible my son is every time he whines … when in reality From In fact, I think the problem is mine. I have a problem giving him the attention he needs, so he resorts to whining to get my attention.
Does my youngest child complain? Not as often as my oldest son. My youngest son is wiser, he uses a more effective method to get my attention. He would pull my sleeve or part of my clothes up (or any other embarrassing part of my clothes that would reveal undesirable parts of my body) and place hot, wet kisses there! Boy oh boy you have to give it to the boy for knowing how to get my attention.
Anyway, let me get back on topic here … whine.
THE VERY BASICS ABOUT WHY TODDLERS AND PRESCHOOLERS Whine:
From a very young age, children need their parents and depend on adults for everything. And to get those things, you have to learn to get the attention of adults. As babies, they cry. When they are little, they cry and kick. As preschoolers, they complain and complain.
The reason kids and children complain and complain is because they want something from you and feel powerless to get it. If they know how to get their attention, like my youngest son, they won’t complain. It’s only when their calls for help go unanswered or if they don’t get their way that their calls get louder, resulting in a whimper.
Children complain because they are looking for an answer and it could be a good answer or a bad answer. They want your attention and if bad attention is the only kind of attention they can get, they will take it and figure out how to turn it around after that.
HOW TO DEFINE Whining Your Preschooler Whining:
Instead of pointing your finger at their faces (which I also have a tendency to do when I’m stressed), try pointing to their whining. The moment they start whining about something, say very firmly, “You’re whining and I can’t hear you when you do that. Can you speak in your normal voice now?” If your preschooler does not understand what you are saying, repeat the word ‘whine’ and then imitate him whining. Either you will end up with a wiser child or both of you will end up rolling on the ground with a heart-warming laugh. Either way, it is good news.
HAVE YOU NOTICED WHEN YOUR CHILD IS MORE LIKELY THAN Whining? ::
Make a wild guess … yes, when you’re in the middle of something important, trying to focus on a game or TV show! It is when you are most busy with your own things or not focused on them.
RESPOND TO YOUR CHILD AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE OR REDIRECT HIM POSITIVELY. ::
The worst thing you can do to a child is to insult him when he is politely asking you for something. That’s like saying, “Not now. Try whining. I might get mad and answer you.” Instead, respond immediately, as you would any other adult. If you are in the middle of something important, you can always explain to your child as patiently and kindly as possible that you are doing something important. Explain that you will not ignore them, but that if they can wait, they should. Most preschoolers can understand this kind of instruction, they can understand more than we give them credit for.
DON’T JUST SAY ‘LATER’ TO A CRYING CHILD:
Later it could mean 5 minutes, it could mean 1 hour, wow, it could mean TOMORROW! Give your preschooler a ballpark figure and a realistic period of time that he should expect the wait to be. Once you’re done with whatever you’re doing, keep your promise.
If he expects him, offer encouragement, congratulate him, praise him, and make him feel like the President of the WORLD for waiting so long.
