Why you shouldn’t trust others

Traveling has taught me that being self-sufficient is an important virtue.

When you trust yourself, you are in control of your life, your future depends on you and the path you take in life is yours to choose… But when you trust others, you become dependent on them and are forced to walk blindly along the path they put you on.

We all have goals in life, things we want to see, experience and achieve, but the only ones responsible for achieving these goals are ourselves… if we rely on others to push us towards these goals, we might find that this trust has been instead holding us back.

This is easy to understand but more difficult in practice. Too often we put our lives in the hands of others, perhaps without even realizing it. Whether it’s our boss, our partner, our religion, our government, or simply trusting the thoughts and opinions of others, we look to others for completion when really we just need to trust ourselves.

Some dangers of trusting others

If you rely on your job as your only source of income, what happens if you lose it? If you look to others to help you make decisions, what if you are forced to make a difficult decision on your own? If you rely solely on your spouse to keep you happy and fulfilled, what happens if you decide to leave?

Besides the fact that the things or people you trust might not be there for you one day, even if they remain in your life, your trust in them still limits what you can receive. Again, if you depend solely on your job for money, are limited by the income it provides, if you rely on the opinions of others, are limited by your perspectives, and if you rely solely on your spouse for love and happiness, you You are limited by what they can give you.

If you trust yourself you can achieve anything because you set your own limits, but if you trust others you can only achieve what they allow you because they themselves have their own limits.

The mistake of putting all your eggs in one basket

After getting into a long-term relationship, a lot of my friends would lose touch with everyone they used to hang out with. They slowly cut off all their friendships because they were so busy with their new girlfriend. After losing touch with their friends, they would have no choice but to rely on their girlfriend for their social happiness. What would they do if they broke up and he looked around her to see that she had no friends left? This dependency essentially trapped them in an unhealthy relationship of needy dependency.

Don’t make the mistake of putting all your eggs in one basket. Putting all your trust in one person, or one source of income, or anything, makes you too dependent on them and will expose you to great loss if something happens or keep you in an unhappy situation because you just don’t have anything. plus

how to trust yourself

After getting used to trusting others in a certain area of ​​your life, it can be difficult to trust yourself again, but there are always countless small steps you can take to take back control of your life.

If you rely on friends, family, or lovers to make you feel good about yourself or to feel happy, take steps to free yourself from this need. You don’t need to alter your relationship, just your attachment to it. Find things that make you feel good and that don’t involve these people. Learn new things, join a club you enjoy, make other friends, take some time to be alone and work on your future passions… Keep in mind that if something happens with this relationship you will not be left feeling empty and alone, it has you. many other areas of her life to turn to and that are still going strong.

Slowly condition yourself to try to accomplish as much as you can on your own, before asking others for help. Even if you know that someone can give you a quick answer to a small problem, first see if you can solve it yourself. Train yourself to be more independent and build your confidence.

Stop worrying about the opinions of others and what they think of you. This is your life to live, you are in control, you can live by your own rules, judge your own life by your own standards and forget what society thinks about it. Stop worrying if other people think you’re handsome, cool, responsible, interesting, or a positive member of society, who are these people to judge you? It’s your life, not theirs. At the end of the day, if you can look in the mirror and be proud of who you are, that’s all that matters.

Realize that your life is yours and no one else’s. It’s okay to share your life with people, it’s okay to seek help and advice, it’s okay to trust people or fall in love… but in the end it all comes down to you. Your life is yours and no one owes you anything.

final thoughts

It’s okay to trust others for little things, I think it’s okay to turn to your friends in your time of need. But if you trust others for important things, like your sense of worth or even your happiness… you are only setting yourself up for these people to disappoint you or, at best, limit you for what they can give you. Your life is your responsibility and your creation. Take control, trust yourself and free yourself from the limitations of others.