What does toxic behavior say about us in the workplace? (Ways to curl your appetite)

Children who challenge authority want to be empowered and empowered themselves. When I grew up and attended a public school in a great city in a great neighborhood, I learned that children can be very cruel and mean to each other. Research has shown that children who do not know how to handle conflicts with their peers or adults sometimes resort to violent actions that can result in massive harm to others (i.e., through school shootings). These children choose extreme behaviors to exercise their need to be independent and capable in the eyes of their peers.

Some external warning signs that teachers should be aware of include the student’s refusal to cooperate in the classroom, avoidance of participation in school activities, and constant attempts to challenge authority. These are all signs of a person feeling defeated, has low self-esteem, and is feeling dependent. However, research shows that the child’s actions are protective mechanisms. Professional teachers should try to understand why the child exhibits these kinds of behaviors. A wise teacher challenges these behaviors and guides the student to a safe and trusting environment.

I was one of those students. I didn’t want to be the center of attention or be aggressive, but I wanted to fit in and feel accepted by my peers. Fortunately, I had mentors in my life. I remember that the pastor of my mother’s church stopped me and said very encouraging words that stuck with me: “You are going to be that special person in life.” His kind words kept a lot of anger from manifesting in my growing years, because he showed me acceptance in a big and chaotic world. All children need is a word of encouragement that they are someone and that we as a society care about them.

Not having mentors and good teachers in my life while growing up in a negative environment would leave scars on my psyche.

But teachers should not respond emotionally or be distracted by the ethnicity or size of the student. Reacting to a preconceived idea of ​​their personality does not provide a cure for these students. Instead, be trustworthy and connect with them. Never try to shape his behavior, but challenge him. Someone once said that what you see on the outside is not the true expression on the inside. Ignore the outward expression and deal with the person who is yelling for help.

You may wonder: What does this have to do with the workplace? Well, it is relevant because there are almost always conflicts in the workplace. It begins when certain behaviors are not responded to immediately. If our problem behaviors from childhood remain unchallenged, they will be challenged in our adult lives, either by society or their peers in the workplace. This behavior manifests itself in intimidation, anger, revenge, and yelling.

We have all worked with or heard of adult “babies” in the workplace. Those whose power and attention seeking make the work environment psychologically negative and toxic. This makes work a hellish place that people hate coming to, all because the negative person’s behavior was never addressed as a child.

If you are a supervisor or team leader, have a plan of action for dealing with those who have never gotten over their disrespect for authority. Society is often not forgiving and will not tolerate disrespectful or toxic behavior in the workplace.

Here are my suggestions, based on my experience:

1. Role modeling: As a supervisor or team leader, you should model the behavior that you want your employees or team members to emulate. In the military, we are taught to lead by example. If you want professionalism, loyalty, and good ethical behavior, then be that example. I cannot say this enough. People imitate their environment and their leaders. Therefore, decrease the negative and adopt the positive behavior. Don’t let favoritism poison your work environment. Have you ever heard of the “teacher’s pet”? Well, there are also servants for the boss. This behavior decreases the creativity of the employee and decreases the chances that the organization will see a return on investment in them.

2. Focus on the problem: When you see undesirable behavior in an individual or group, focus on the problem. Don’t leave it unattended. In my years of leadership, I have always focused on the problem child who brings that behavior into the workplace. Remember, others are watching how you handle this unacceptable behavior. So, focus on it like a laser beam and take it out.

3. Advise the problem: Once you have isolated the problem, isolate the perpetrator and address it. Don’t do it in a negative way. Explain to the person how their behavior is affecting the organization, team, or work environment. Remember, you want a harmonious, efficient and professional workplace.

4. Enforce Policies and Regulations – Gather your organization or team members together and explain your organization’s policies, regulations and procedures and how to deal with unwanted behavior in the workplace. By doing this, you are setting limits and providing a stable environment that increases productivity and profitability.

5. Record Your Counseling Session – Finally, record your counseling session with the individual employee or team members, and outline a plan for administering the appropriate punishment if further offenses occur. Remember to never hesitate to carry out your disciplinary plan when a violation occurs.

Dealing with challenging behaviors in the workplace is a task that should never be taken lightly. It should be addressed immediately when recognized by all leaders (i.e. teacher, supervisors, team leaders, or managers). Remember, once toxic behaviors get out of control, other employees or team members will follow.

Derrick Darden, Ph.D. He has been an adjunct faculty member at Park University and the Tiffin University Management and Human Resources course for over eight years. Prior to this, he served in the United States Army for 22 years in the field of Logistics Management. Currently, he works for the Dept. of the Army, Procurement Contracting Command